So Damn Devastating
by MyRegardstothereader
Summary: Aria is awake and so are the voices. Not only is Aria faced with her full memory, her dead family, Gaara's emotions, but now she has found her Kingdom survived the raid she brought on them. She must face her past and right the wrongs to ensure her Uncles return, and to make matters worse, the voices in her head are trying to kill her. Sequel to So Damn Unpretty. GaaraXOC
1. Prologue

So damn _Devastating_

GaaraXOC Fanfic

Disclaimer: I own Ellani Ariabeth Moon, the entire plot line, the villains, the kingdom of balance, yada-yada. I don't own Gaara and the works of Naruto (including characters, backgrounds, personalities, yada-yada)

~!~!~

The world came back in a harsh swirl. The shadows of the room danced as my eyes opened to the blinding room. There was no direct light to me, but I was still unable to keep my eyes open for long. The room was dark and a candle was lit somewhere in the room to cast shadows on the walls.

I knew there was a candle because I could smell it.

I could smell the wick burn and the candle's scent musk the room.

Vanilla, everywhere there was a thick smell of vanilla that covered a deeper, less noticeable scent.

I could taste it, the vanilla, it was so strong to cover the second scent.

That scent?

_It smells like someone died in here and tried to cover it up…_

_**SOMEONE DID DIE YOU IDIOT!**_

"YAI! JAI!" I shot forward. Their voices drifted away as my consciousness set in. As I woke up, my memories rose in my mind as well. My heart sank at the sight of my ghosts floating infront of my rosey eyes. They stood there smiling and glaring, they shouted and whispered but I heard nothing. I just saw their faces, and they danced around me.

My eyes focused on my sister, her eyes full of pain and hate that focused right on me.

_You did this…_ Her voice filled my head as I looked around.

My mother, father, my sisters, cousins, knights, they all looked at me with sadness and soundless moving lips.

_**You brought this on us…**_ My mother spoke lightly.

"I didn't… I was… I was sick…" I whispered hoarsely.

_You can't use that excuse anymore Aria! _

Mora and Mother stood still as everyone began to whisp away into the dancing flames' shadows. Their voices came to life as they disappeared but mother's and Mora's were still the strongest. Jai and Yai disappeared behind Mora and Mother, their eyes sad and lonely. I missed their words; I missed them in my head. I didn't like my sister and mother being there.

_**I am disappointed in you!**_

"SHUT UP!" I hissed. I covered my ears and clenched my eyes shut. My body began to rock back and forth and their ghost forms and the haunting sight of the Beast danced behind my eyelids.

_Sister, you know that doesn't work!_

_**My sick, disgusting daughter! Poor you! You didn't die, you still have a chance at living while we are here! HOW DARE YOU COMMAND US!**_

_Now we'll always be together sister, they can't separate us now! Not even that boy! I can make us more together sister, come! Please, join me! Forget the living! You know all you've ever wished for was to be with me and be unafraid of death!_

_**CURSE YOU, DAUGHTER! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!**_

_I WILL BRING YOU BACK TO ME, EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO JOIN THE DEAD!_

"I'M NOT LISTENING!" I screeched. I smacked at my head, my body rocked harder into my knees as tears seeped into the covers of the bed. My head shook and my hands clenched as I tried to pound the voices from my skull. I opened my eyes and they were there, glaring at me with anger. They hated me and they were the noise in my head. Everything grew louder, their anger taking on multiple voices. Everywhere I looked my sister and mother pointed at me and yelled promises of my death.

I cried out for them to hush, to leave me, but that only made them louder. Tears multiplied as I ripped off the covers and stumbled to the floor. I had to escape the darkness! Light always made the voices stop!

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I cried as my feet scrapped across the floor and drug me to the door. I grasped the handle and yanked it open, only to tumble back onto the floor. My body betrayed me as the images of my sister and mother grabbed my elbows. I dug my feet into the floor and grabbed the edge of the dresser, I tried to pull myself forward. Tears blurred my vision as I yanked the dresser back, and with strength I didn't know I had, I shoved the wooden object into my sister and mother.

They jumped for me, their eyes red with hate as I fell to the floor and curled up, screams pierced my ears.

I felt their hands grab at me.

I ripped around to claw their faces only to be stopped by a soft sand that grasped my fingers and held them still.

There above me was Gaara, not the voices in my head.

He looked at me with fear in his eyes and lips trembling, unable to speak.

Happiness took over my entire body as the light from the open door flooded the room and the shadows were gone. I dropped my hand only to string it around his ribs and pushed my face into his chest. I could hear his heart beat as he knelt down and pulled me close. The voices, the anger, it fled my body in that instant as I held Gaara close to me. He held me just as tightly and pulled me into his lap as he sat.

"They want me dead…" I whimpered into his chest. "The voices… they're different…"

"I will protect you…" Gaara whispered, his hand went to my head and soothed my hair. I felt his calming fingers brush through my hair. Only, a small voice of doubt entered my head.

_Can he protect you from yourself?_

Mora's voice echoed through my skull as I clung to Gaara, inhaling the smell of sunshine and sand.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

HAHA! I finally got it done!

I know I promised this a while ago, but here it is! The sequel to So Damn Unpretty. Bumbumbum!

With love,

Myregardstothereader.


	2. Pack the bags

So damn _Devastating_

GaaraXOC Fanfic

Disclaimer: I own Ellani Ariabeth Moon, the entire plot line, the villains, the kingdom of balance, yada-yada. I don't own Gaara and the works of Naruto (including characters, backgrounds, personalities, yada-yada)

~!~!~

Chapter one:

Breakfast was delicious, more delicious than I remember food ever being. I devoured my plate like an animal and looked up to Temari who placed another plate in front of me. Her look of hesitation didn't hurt my feelings until I had cleared the second plate. I had forgotten the entire life before I went unconscious. There were so many questions that I assumed were unanswered, so much confusion towards me.

Who was I?

Ellani Ariabeth Moon.

What did that even mean?

I looked to my empty plates and closed my eyes. Did I even know what my name meant anymore? What was I? My throat felt suddenly dry as the desert that surrounded me. My heart sank into my stomach as I opened my eyes to the man across the table from me.

He was a man in my eyes, his bravery and choices made him more than a man. He was a hero.

Yet he sat there, red hair blazing across from me, his eyes glued to me. He let me drag him around town; drag him into the murky waters that is my history. Yet I've always been tied to him. I loved this man.

I loved this hero named Gaara.

"I'm sorry." I whispered hoarsely.

His eyebrow muscles furrowed as his head tilted to the right. I couldn't help but stare at him. Beautiful and handsome beyond any measure, I couldn't love how he looked more than I did. But I loved more than his beauty.

"For what?" Gaara asked. His voice was deep and musky, something I hadn't fully appreciated since I lost my memory. Back when I was crazy.

I miss being crazy. The days when I didn't know who I was, the days when my only desire was to see the sun again, to see the light. Back then I wished for my crazy to leave, to be at peace.

Now I wish I was back in the Darkness Building. I sighed as I looked to Temari with concern; she stepped back and turned towards the kitchen. She left the room with no words and a look of fear I'd never seen before. Fear towards me.

I never wanted to be a monster.

"I've brought you and your siblings such pain and agony. I… brought…am the monster." I mumbled.

I jumped as hands clashed against the table. My eyes wide, I looked up to Gaara who stood up, eyes narrowed at me. Swiftly, he rushed around the table and snatched my hands from my lap. I eyed him then my hands, confused and unable to process what was happening. He yanked me from my chair and forced me to stand and look him in the eyes. He snatched my chin; I flinched but was unable to look away.

"You. Are. Not. A. Monster!" He snapped each word through gritted teeth. I tried to pull my face away, but Gaara pulled my chin closer to him, his eyes aflame. "Aria, don't listen to any of those voices, you are not a monster."

"I am a monster." I mumbled through my tight jaw.

"No you're not!" He snapped.

"I killed my people!" Tears sprouted as his hands gently released my face. I couldn't stop the sob that broke the silence. Gaara let my wrist go as I sunk to the floor hard. My knees rang out with the hard thud, but I ignored it. The pain of falling to the ground stood nothing next to the pain in my chest. I remembered.

I set those men on my kingdom.

My sickness, my disease brought me to believe that if I killed my people… I would get what I wanted.

I gasped as my hands flew to cover my shameful, disgusting face. I was more than just unpretty, I was disgusting! I could never be beautiful after doing as I had done. The sobs grew harsh as I leaned my head against Gaara's shins. My tears stung my cracked lips as I cried into my hands.

_Sister, don't cry!_

**_Cry, pour your soul into your hands! Die from it!_**

_Sister…_

**_Daughter…_**

"Shut up!" I cried and slapped my head once, "Shut up! Shut up!" I blurted out, both my hands smacked my head. My head was thrown back by sand and my hands pinned to my side. When I opened my eyes, Gaara was above me, eyes calm now but determined and focused. Focused on my eyes, he slowly released my hands from the sand. I lay absolutely still as he pulled back and gently lifted me to a sitting position. He sat in front of me, hands in his lap.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry." We mumbled together.

"Don't ever hit yourself." Gaara whispered.

"Don't pin me." I whispered back. He eyed me, eyes searching mine. My heart thumped in my throat.

"Who is talking to you?" Gaara asked, his eyes began to search the room. Then he looked my eyes as they drifted to the corner. In the shadows I watched the faces that swirled in them. My mother and sister, eyes focused on me, hate and want in their eyes. I shivered and looked to Gaara. He couldn't see them.

"My sister… and my mother… the others are silent…" I answered. I looked into Gaara's eyes and sighed. He turned to the shadows then looked right at me. He slowly rose to his feet before he offered his hand. I gingerly took his palm and rose to my feet as gracefully as I could.

"You have to go back." He stated.

"I don't want to return there… after what I did? I'm sick, I'm broken and they don't… my home, who even knows if it's like it was…. I… I'm sick, I can't go back." I pushed through my shaky words. But as I said them, the eyes and worry in my uncles face returned to me. I could see him, eyes wide as the beast took him. As the beast took my sister.

It demanded my anger.

It wanted me to find him.

"But I have to return." I breathed.

"Then we will go there…" Gaara trailed off as he stepped closer to me. I couldn't watch him, I shut my eyes and tensed as he wrapped his arms around me. When his arms were around me, I let my muscles loose and leaned into his chest. The smell of sunshine and sand, it comforted me, my mind eased. The buzz of my sickness, the confusion and shadows full of faces disappeared. He was the key.

He made my sickness disappear.

I couldn't have known that he would have this effect when I was little, but I knew I loved him.

I knew I needed him in my life.

I needed him to be mine.

So I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly.

"I love you…" I whispered into his chest. "I am broken and sick, and I'm a monster, I don't deserve your love…" I trailed off as tears threatened to spill.

"Aria." He warned. I stopped my tears and hushed my thoughts for a moment. He held me tighter. "We need to pack."

"You're coming too…"I blurted out, my eyes shot up towards his face.

"I'm not leaving your side, Aria… I've never had anyone love me before, and I'm not about to lose the only person who does. Aria, you're my only friend, the only person who understands how it feels to be in my head. I am a selfish person and if at all possible, I wish not to share you."

I placed my head into his chest. I couldn't bare to smile, I couldn't even bare to keep my eyes open as I clung to him like a life support.

"I am disturbed, and I hate most everyone in this town, and dislike the rest… I've killed people because it calms my monster, their blood eases my head. You're not frightened of me and I refuse to let you go because you don't see yourself the way I do. I don't like talking, and I don't like repeating myself. So Aria, I will only say this once. You are not allowed to leave my side. Try to run and I will follow. Try to escape me and I will drag you back, I'm not letting you go."

* * *

Author's notes: Sorry it took me so long to update peoples, holidays are full of surprizing with my crazy, too many for their own good, family. But here it is, I know yal have been waiting.

To secretstalker: Sorry it took me a bit to do it, I had to wait for the muse and ideas to hit me.

To satsurikusajira: Gosh your name is hard to type but pretty to look at. =). Anyway, thank you for the review and I know, it took me way too long. but I'll try to keep up with it.

ATTENTION TO ALL READERS: I'm attempting by the month of January to have my collection of tied short-stories/Novellet published. It will be an eBook format, where you'd be able to buy it over amazon, iBookstore, any place you get an eBook. It features the short story that inspired my oneshot Love From Beyond the Grave, the Gaara one shot. I will announce when it is published, but I beg of yal to check it out and send me pm's on here or even reviews on the oneshot if you read it and what you think. I am trying to become a published author and the easiest way to do that is to self-publish first then bring a bigger, better novel to the publishing company and show you already have a fan base. Thanks for taking the time to read this announcement.

With love,

Myregardstothereader


	3. Sunshine

So damn _Devastating_

GaaraXOC Fanfic

Disclaimer: I own Ellani Ariabeth Moon, the entire plot line, the villains, the kingdom of balance, yada-yada. I don't own Gaara and the works of Naruto (including characters, backgrounds, personalities, yada-yada)

~!~!~

Chapter two:

Packing clothes is far easier than anyone will understand when you don't actually own anything. The hard part is coming to this realization. Clothes, few and less stained and ripped are few, precious things are none. My pack lighter than my entire body, I laid it infront of Gaara as he rolled his eyes.

"No point in wasting two bags." He stated lowly as he pushed his clothing into my bag and out of his. Gaara didn't carry anything either other than clothes. He, a superior ninja, knew how to survive and promised that I would be fine. I felt weak and useless for a moment as I watched him stack and compact everything we took into the bag that still felt light on my shoulders. I wore tan cargo shorts and a matching camisole with a light white peasant blouse over it, Temari provided for me. The least amount of clothes to keep light, however she did provide the sunscreen to keep my pale as ice skin from burning.

As a princess in my past life, I didn't actually know how to travel out a caravan. I only knew how to survive of the intelligence and work of others. I was smart, but I was not as wise as Gaara or as intelligent as Temari, or even as quick as Kankuro, who provided me with a bag of dried fruit and nuts to keep healthy and awake.

_Come home to us…_

My sister whispered from the darkness below the bed, but I hushed her voice by keeping close to Gaara. He didn't speak for the most part, busy with preparation.

"So you are really going home?" Temari whispered from the doorway as she handed Gaara one last bag full of dried food and a map. That he tucked on the side of his cargo pants.

"Yes." I looked to my feet for a moment before the light glint of the morning light caught my eyes. "I have to save my uncle… he saved me as long as he could, it's only fair." I explained, tears threatened to choke me.

"How are you going to save him from that… thing?" Kankuro asked as he patted Gaara on the back then put his hand on her shoulder, "do you even know what you're facing?"

"A demon." I answered, before I squared my shoulders and followed Gaara out the door, "A demon my people had trusted for centuries to bring them peace. A demon I brought upon myself."

~*~Just damn Devastating~*~

"The sun is very nice." I mumbled into the sky as I spread my arms out into the warmth of the sun. Travel had been hard, the first day and we were still a day and a half journey from my kingdom, or so Gaara said if it stayed mostly desert. With the right shoes on our feet, traveling over sand was like walking on concrete, and when it sloped, Gaara moved the sand underneath us. He cocked his brow up and looked to me.

"What?" I laughed as I grinned at him.

"You'd be one of few who like the sun, and fewer who say it's nice." He stated matter of factly as he turned to look ahead at the road before us.

"Do you like the sun?" I questioned as I skipped foreward to look him in the eye. The sun, lower in the sky than before, turned pink behind me as he stopped.

"Never saw the need." He added, "it always rises and falls, always there, like or dislike it's there." He explained as I frowned and looked to the sun behind me. I stared at it for a moment before my face fell and I looked to the sand.

"I'm sorry Gaara, but the sun is not always there, not always reliable…" I fell into a whisper as the air in my lungs deflated. As much as I had wished for the darkness building before, I found I did not wish for it at the same time. Miserable, a good of a word as any to describe how I felt about the place. Darkness, the lacking of light, no sunlight ever hit that building and even less hit those inside it. Pity and guilt for leaving the building and all those who tried to keep her happy despite her lack of sun, ate at her stomach. She was the reason 4 buildings had to be rebuilt, her fault that a man died by a book shelf that was her uncle's side man.

Uncle had to be lonely, afraid of what was around him.

"It will always be reliable for you now." Gaara answered, her mind ripped back to reality.

"What?" She asked. Gaara stepped up and took her hand.

"Come, we need to make camp, walking through the desert at night is a mad man's death." With that the conversation stopped. I followed him around like a puppy as he pulled up pillars of sand and tied our tent to them stably, then put up walls of sand around the tent and area so wind could not knock it down.

I sat and stripped wood into pieces, lit one little one and set it on the others I dug into a small pit to keep from escaping. I sat by the light fire and watched the sun set behind the horizon, the sand turn from gold to grey and black.

_Are you afraid of the darkness, sister?_

_**That's why you love the sun so much, it keeps the dark at bay…**_

_It's not so bad sister, come and find out how nice the chill of darkness can be._

I gritted my teeth and made my eyes burn into the fire. Concentrate, don't let it swirl. Don't lose focus.

"They're talking again?"

"How did you know?" I gulped as I looked to Gaara next to me.

"You make that face when they talk." He tapped my forehead lightly before he stared to the fire. "I still talk to him too." He added softly. I bit my lip and looked to the fire infront of me. I didn't want to say the wrong thing, but the words left my lips without my approval.

"What does he say?" I asked before I mentally and physically slapped my forehead. A twitch of a smile hit his lips as he looked to me and shook his head.

"Mostly insults." He answered, "Occasional death threat to everyone who can't hear him." Gaara sighed and crossed his legs, hands placed on his thighs. I put myself next to him, arm against his and melted as I felt him lean into me. For once, I wanted to be touched, and it felt like sunshine on my skin even in the darkness that surrounded us.

_You're forgetting what you are, sister…_

_**YOU WILL NOT FORGET!**_

_Sister, please… look at me, I want to see your eyes…_

But I kept them shut as I placed my head on his shoulder and the voices hushed, their images danced away in the smokey haze. A smile finally glued to my lips.

"Good night Gaara."

* * *

Author's note: I'm sorry it's not as long as I'm used to but I needed to get it out while it was still fresh in my head. Sorry for the wait!


	4. Gaara's Pov

So damn _Devastating_

GaaraXOC Fanfic

Disclaimer: I own Ellani Ariabeth Moon, the entire plot line, the villains, the kingdom of balance, yada-yada. I don't own Gaara and the works of Naruto (including characters, backgrounds, personalities, yada-yada)

~!~!~

Chapter three:

Gaara never slept, but he did day dream. His dreams never took a concrete form, mostly just him spacing out. However, today, they were a story. It was completely about Aria, Ellani Ariabeth moon, the girl he never saw coming.

_Once when he was little, his father and him went on a trip just the two of them. His father said it had nothing to do with his siblings, but Gaara wondered if his father had the balls to kill him by himself. Was the trip a murder trip? However, when the caravan stopped, he found that death was not on the other side of the caravan. _

_It was a girl._

_A girl his age with a broken smile and dressed in a red warrior dress. She held a sword to her left hip, her size of a sword, and her short hair framed her round face. What took Gaara by surprise the most was the pink in her eyes. Gaara stood still as she smiled at him then up to two guards beside her. They nodded to the Kazekage then opened the door to allow a tall man out of the caravan out. Gaara watched through the doors. Inside the caravan was a blond woman in royal gown with a girl with mint green hair in her arms. The girl stared right at Gaara. Her eyes just as shockingly pink, however, they were different then the girl in red. _

_The girl with the green hair stared right at Gaara with a sadness he only saw in his own mirror. He pushed his eyes downwards to the sand as she scooted closer to the door. He could feel her stare on his skin. _

_"Gaara, this is Namia Moon, she is going to be your special friend." His father spoke. Gaara jutted his face up to see the girl before him. The one in the red dress, she smiled but her smile didn't touch her eyes the way the girl in the caravan's did. When Gaara looked up, she smiled and it lit up her whole face. _

_"It's a pleasure to meet you!" Namia grinned._

_"Same." Gaara whispered, attempting to smile. Nothing seemed to work as he looked to the girl with the black and red hair and flame red clothes. _

_"You're a ninja?" She asked with enthusiasm._

_"Yes, are you?" Gaara answered only to look up to his father who was in deep conversation with the other older man. "Who is that?" He added with his chin nodded in the direction of the caravan. The red head turned to look at the window where the woman and the girl looked back. She waved and encouraged them to leave their seats. The green haired girl lunged from the caravan, unable to be stopped by the woman and the guards. _

_"This is my sister Ellani."_

Gaara shook his head and looked to Aria asleep beside him. How had he not remembered this when it was important? How had he gone through everything that month ago and not known this was her? Gaara cursed his mind as he turned to look at the rising sun.

They were headed to the kingdom that Aria came from. They were going to find the beast. Gaara's hand touched the hilt of Lord V. Moon's sword in the bag they carried with them. They would use the sword to stab the beast in the heart and return Aria's uncle to the world of the living.

With a sigh, Gaara stood up and began to pack up the camp. Even though the events had been horrible, he enjoyed every moment of them with Aria. She was a calming, soothing lotion to his mind. Maybe one day he'd bring her to Konoha to show Naruto and Lee that she wasn't truly crazy. The idea of traveling with her to Konoha was a nice one, light and fluffy in his head as he looked across the desert sand in the direction of the forest.

If this was ever over- No, he needed to be optimistic about this. His eyes turned to Aria and found a smile creep up on his lips at her slowly waking up. He crossed to her side and knelt down beside her as she rolled and opened her eyes.

"Good morning." She grinned, the sun glittery on her skin and in her hair.

"Morning." He whispered as she put a hand to his cheek. That's when the image of their last kiss crossed his mind. How bad it ended up. How electric it was on his lips. Her face was close and the urge ate at his stomach. But, would she kiss him back as she had?

Only, his minds scattered as she pressed her lips to his cheek and slipped to her knees to roll up her sleeping bag. Gaara gulped down the red hot fire in his face as he stood to take down the tent. Aria packed her sleeping bag, then went to put it in the bag when she saw the sword. She went dead still as her fingers traced the silver sword. It had once been cleaned before their departure of all the blood over the blade, but the memory was still fresh.

"My uncle…" She whimpered as she looked to Gaara. "We will save him? Right?"

Gaara looked from the tent that he held in his hand.

"I will not stop until we save him." He promised as she smiled and rubbed her scalp for a moment.

Aria stood as the pack was done with everything in it and pulled it close to her. Gaara finished putting down the sand when they saw flags on the horizon. There was only sand for miles, but the flags seemed to be coming towards them. Gaara put Aria behind him as they walked up a dune and there before them was a man on a horse and 10 men behind him, all carrying swords and some holding banners.

"Who are you?" The man on the horse called out.

"None of your business." Gaara spoke, "we are merely travelers."

The man on the horse glared down at the two of them until Aria slipped beside Gaara to looked at the men. That's when the man on the horse went tense. He snapped into a tense form and ripped his sword from his seethe.

"The princess! You bring the princess!"

"What?" Aria called out of surprise, she jumped back behind Gaara.

"Hand over the princess, you thief!"

Gaara put his arms over his chest and stood his ground as the men drew their swords and aimed them at Gaara.

"You won't touch her." Gaara growled deep in his throat. The men didn't put their swords down. Aria shivered behind Gaara, unable to move from behind him. Gaara could feel the fear drench her whole soul as she clung to him.

"Give us your name, thief, and maybe I'll let you have your life!" The man on the horse snapped.

"I am Gaara, of the desert, son of the dead Kazekage."

The men went silent as their swords fell down to their sides.

"You, husband of the princess, bring her back?"

"Husband?" Aria asked, looking up to Gaara with confusion. "My husband?" She asked the man on the horse. The man dismounted and took great strides to stand infront of Gaara. He took out a small picture out of a pouch on his left side and pulled it out. Gaara stood tensely as the man examined Gaara then the picture.

"Yes it's him. I apologize for the mix-up. For many years we assumed the Princess had been stolen by the raiders. But, it seems, she was with her betrothed all this time. She must have been taken during the siege, to Suna?" Aria nodded, tears finally dropped from her eyes. Gaara turned to hold her hand as she looked between him and the man in almost white tunic and beige pants. She seemed to melt at the sound of his words as she looked back to Gaara.

"The kingdom wasn't destroyed?" she whimpered, her eyes then looked to the man. "You all live?"

"Yes, my princess… we await your return, come!" Aria lit up like the sun.

"Wait, you didn't answer the husband thing." Gaara interrupted, but was ignored as Aria grasped his hand and tugged him towards the men now smiling and cheering.


End file.
